Production: Script Development

Initial idea

When she meets a version of herself from another universe, a preoccupied scientist must reassess how she makes decisions after causing disaster for other versions of them just by pouring a cup of coffee.

Theme: Knowledge - is it possible to know too much?

Can someone who knows too much make a decision?

Opening image: Vera standing in front of a screen, writing observations with verve. And bobbing to the music spilling from her earphones.

Set-up/Theme stated: Noises become evident over Vera’s music – but Vera doesn’t stop working until the noise becomes so much she can’t continue (we see pages of her notebook which inform us of her work on the multiverse theory). She goes to confront the intruder.

Catalyst: The intruder is revealed to be a version of Vera from another universe – Roni. Vera is excited, but turns sceptical, especially when Roni gives her a tablet full of information which is monitoring other versions of them in other universes.

Debate: Vera wonders how she is supposed to handle all this information. A basic explanation of Everett’s many-worlds interpretation from Roni – good/bad.

Break into two: Vera decides to handle the information by observing. She decides to make coffee to help her stay awake for enough time to make a wide spread of observations, but this decision causes a version of her in another universe to be arrested.

B-Story: Vera realises Roni has not told her everything. This pushes Roni to reveal that because Vera chooses to do mundane work here (writing papers/basic research for funding), other versions of them choose cutting edge research in other universes which is getting them into trouble.

Midpoint: Vera realises that her actions are thus responsible for what happens to (what appears to be) every other version of them. To solve their problems, she will need to change her whole life.

Bad guys close in: But no matter what Vera does (stop working, pace, etc.), it still causes disaster for other versions of her (burning laptops, etc.)

All is lost: Vera decides to stop making decisions – her making a cup of tea could kill another version of them! But this is still a decision, and still affects other versions of them.

Dark Night of the Soul: Vera gets angry at Roni – how is Vera supposed to live her life knowing all she does now?

Break into Three: Vera realises that she can’t ever know the full extent of her actions – if she considers one version of them, it still goes badly for another, and what about the versions of them who she can’t see? She decides to try and use what she does know for good by sharing information between universes.

Finale: Vera and Roni travel to another universe to meet another version of them and begin sharing information.

Draft 1

Character flaw

This initial idea was based on my idea from the pre-production unit. Whilst refining this beat sheet, I considered what Vera's character flaw should be, as "the main character in your story has to be the only person this story could possibly happen to" due to the flaw which they have to overcome to reach the story's conclusion (Grant, 2013:38). Thus, I initially thought that this could be that Vera is too stuck in her routine, since then she would have to change a lot in order to leave her work behind and make different decisions to help versions of her in other universes. However, I also thought Vera's flaw could be that she is indecisive, since the story depends on decisions, and hence she would have to get over this to help the other versions of her.

Nonetheless, in the end I decided that it was more effective if Vera's flaw related to the theme of the story - for this outline the theme was knowledge - therefore I made it so that Vera is extremely curious, so much so that she feels as if she needs to know everything.

Refining the beats

As I further continued to refine the idea, I also changed some of the story beats - for example, I didn't feel like there was enough motivation in the above beat sheet for Vera's realisation that she can't ever know the full extent of her actions.

To solve this, I worked on a way to show this. However, the idea for this came by writing a slightly different version of the idea, allowing me to think about the story differently and find a solution. The new version of the idea I came up with involved Roni as a university student, with her roommate discovering that Roni is not only travelling to, but also monitoring, other universes. This leads to Roni discovering that all her decisions lead to disaster for other versions of her, with her roommate trying to help her stop this. When they can't stop disasters happening in other universes, Roni questions why she pursued science in the first place and decides to give up. Her roommate is then left looking at the monitoring of other universes and sees a version of Roni in a different universe - Vera - who is passionate about science. Roni's roommate shows Vera to Roni to help her see why science is important to her and encourage her not to give up for good.
This helped me to refine the beat where Vera realises she can't ever know the full extent of her actions but can use what she knows for good, changing this so that this realisation comes because of another version of her which reminds her why she is pursuing this research in the first place, and encourages her not to give up - thus showing this realisation more effectively to the audience since it comes from an external reason which they can see, rather than an internal influence inside of Vera which is not apparent.

The board

To plot a new outline, I used screenwriter Blake Snyder's technique of using a "board" - allocating each beat of the film to a post-it note which could then be put on the wall so that I could see the film broken down before writing (Snyder, 2005:100). I also used this technique during the pre-production unit, but with index cards. I found it more effective this time to use post-it notes since, because they are smaller than index cards, it meant I could only write down a basic outline of the beat, instead of including extra information such as the character's emotional change or main conflict, making the outline clearer.

Feedback

The main feedback I received on the first draft was to consider logistics by making the story simpler. The draft contained several different versions of Vera in different universes all being shown on one screen which could have caused continuity errors and been difficult to film.

Aurelija also said that she felt like the script needed to be longer, which was helpful since this made me realise that the story was condensed and could be simpler. Thus, to continue, I tried to concentrate on the core of the idea - that a scientist, who is an ordinary person living a somewhat mundane existence, discovers something extraordinary - that her decisions affect those of every other version of her - and then has to figure out what to do about this (she has to go on a quest) - since this would also help with the logistics.

Drafts 2 & 3

Therefore, to simplify the story I decided to focus on only Vera and Roni and their relationship, since this meant I would only be showing one other universe. To do this, I changed the story so that Vera is discovered by Roni - but Roni does not realise this. As Vera observes Roni, she discovers that her decisions lead to disaster for Roni, such as Roni's scientific equipment breaking. As Roni fixes her equipment - and Vera tries not to cause any disasters for her - Vera sees other versions of herself in other universes because of Roni's equipment, and discovers the extent of how her decisions are influencing other versions of her. However, because of Vera’s decisions, Roni is able to fix her equipment, and thus get through to Vera.
I felt that this focused on the core of the idea - that Vera goes from ordinary to discovering something extraordinary - better, however, I found it difficult to redraft after I had written draft 2, since I hadn't fully determined the theme of the story.

Different themes

Determining a theme was important since theme "gives you a touchstone you can always go back to whenever you get stuck during the writing", because of how it influences every aspect of the screenplay (Grant, 2013:75).

To do this, I went through the script and wrote down all of the themes I felt were present in the story. These were knowledge - which was the theme I had originally been writing to, but found was too wide and not specific enough to Vera - identity, loneliness, power, and ambition.
I then wrote small paragraphs detailing how the story could go depending on each theme - for example, for loneliness, I focused on Vera being completely isolated from the world outside her lab, until she finds Roni, using the story to show how much this connection with another person meant to Vera.
However, I found that the theme that worked best for the story was ambition, because of how consumed by her work Vera is - something which was also present in versions of this story during the pre-production unit.

Ambition

Thus, I researched ambition to help inform some of the decisions I was making about the story, as well as about Vera's character. Overall, people who have excessive ambition are fixated on their end goal, and therefore pursue this goal even if it means their personal relationships suffer as a consequence (DeMers, 2017). This fixation also means that excessively ambitious people are unprepared to fail, or to change their goal, even when this may be necessary (DeMers, 2017).
I used this information to inform Vera's character - for example, I decided that her goal would be to win the Nobel Prize in physics as soon as possible, since this signifies the greatest success for a scientist, showing her fixation on this by having a picture of it hanging in her workspace.

However, after doing some research into the Nobel Prize, I found that its image is copyrighted. I also wanted Vera's goal to be something more recognisable, as not many people know what the Nobel Prize looks like. Therefore, I changed Vera's goal to wanting to establish her own research institute for the multiverse, showing this in the same way by using pictures, but further highlighting Vera's fixation by having these seem to be what keep her working, even when she is exhausted.

Since Vera is so fixated on her goal, I wanted to further this by showing how she has given up everything for her ambition. Thus, in an outline, I wrote a version of the opening scene where Vera is starving and homeless as well as exhausted, because she is so focused on her goal and nothing else.

Draft 4

However, trying to include this much information about Vera was too confusing when it came to writing and reading back the scene. It has been said that, "a little goes a long way where ideas are concerned", and hence screenwriters should include only necessary details about a character (Snyder, 2005:131). Therefore, I decided to pick between Vera being homeless, exhausted, and starving, since including only one of these still shows she is making sacrifices for her ambition. I decided to pick exhaustion, since this was originally in the pre-production script and makes the most sense as Vera does fall asleep on the counter later in the story.

Draft 5

After these drafts of the film, I struggled to write a fifth draft. This was because the world of the film was so enclosed, with Vera only focused on her work and the other universe where Roni was, making Vera passive since she wasn't taking intentional action to reach a goal - Roni was getting to this universe in consequence of Vera's decisions, but this was unintended by Vera.

Thus, Helen suggested that Vera leaves the lab, and, since she is away from her work, discovers something about herself which she had forgotten which helps with her work - this being her love of art, since science and art seem directly opposed, but can actually be connected as both use innovation.

From this I created a new version of the story, where Vera is kicked out of her lab by the cleaner, starts painting in the street after coming across a group of artists, and, in the end, uses her art to help people understand her research, causing her to be less alone and trapped in her work.

New Idea - Draft 1

This new idea for a story worked in outline form, but I found it hard to write because I struggled to incorporate the science into the fiction after having worked on this for so long, and I felt like, because of this, the story had become too complicated and convoluted to me.

Therefore, I worked with the editor and director of photography on the project, who suggested we break a new story. We decided to use the basis of my experience of writing the film to do this, and write about a writer who has writer's block, and becomes unsatisfied with her writing.

To do this, we kept the character of Vera, and built a story around the writer who is trying to finish Vera's story, Monica.
Because we developed this story as a team, I found that it was easier to write in screenplay form after outlining it, since the editor and director of photography were more likely to think about the film in terms of visuals, helping me to combine this with story and structure.
We decided on the theme of loneliness since, not only is writing a solitary profession, but once Monica finishes Vera's story, there is a possibility that Vera would disappear since Monica doesn't need to imagine her anymore, leaving Monica alone. Deciding on a theme before writing helped since it meant I could make decisions for the story informed by this, such as focusing on how to show Monica being lonely through visuals by having her isolated in vast spaces whilst she writes.

Draft 2

Initially, to make the audience aware that Monica overcomes her writer's block and had finished her last novel I used a news report which told the audience that Monica's last novel didn't sell quite as well as the rest. Yet, I looked for a way to show this instead, and thought I could do this by having Monica see her latest novel in a bookshop on the shelf where they rank bestsellers, so that it is shown to the audience that it didn't sell as well as her other books, also using this to show Monica's reaction so that the audience weren't detached from her in this moment, since she is the centre of the story.

However, to show that her latest novel didn't sell quite as well as the previous two in the trilogy, and to make sure that the audience recognised Vera as the character from Monica's books, I also added in a moment where the audience see the previous two books in the trilogy and their covers - both of which show Vera. I also added that they include the words "The Number One Bestseller" in draft 3 to make Monica's previous success clearer, so that her downfall could be more apparent.

Drafts 3, 4 & 5

Focusing on Monica as a character

Monica's downfall because of her writer's block - where she goes from being successful and enjoying her writing, to having writer's block and feeling like a failure - was less apparent in draft 1 & 2 but was something I worked to add to give more of an introduction to Monica after feedback from Beth Turrell.

Feedback from Beth:

To add more background about Monica to the script, I decided to first write a short character biography about her, since writing a character biography whilst planning a screenplay can help to reveal "insights about the main character and the source of possible conflict", leading to events or incidents which the writer can build around these insights and this conflict, which they can then include in the screenplay to show the audience more about the character (Field, 2005:56).
For example, in my character biography about Monica I was thinking about what Monica's downfall was like, and what could have caused it. I focused on her want for perfectionism in her writing and expanded on what I thought Monica would have been through from there.
This helped me to determine events which would show what Monica had been through - her having elaborate dinner parties, but then pushing people away as she further hides in her writing, leaving her alone, and causing her to want her writing to be perfect because it is all she has.

This character biography was useful as a starting point, even though I didn't put all of these details into the screenplay and changed some of them later - such as the dinner parties becoming champagne parties as I wanted a simple way to show how Monica's writing has made her wealthy.
In draft one, the introduction to Monica was short, with the audience only seeing a picture of her looking polished and glamorous on a newspaper, this contrasted with how scruffy and pale she looks in reality. This implied Monica's downfall to the audience but didn't explicitly show how she had changed enough for the audience to care.

Thus, in later drafts I added a scene at the beginning showing how much Monica enjoys her writing, making her writer's block more apparent later, and more effectively showing her downfall. I used the champagne parties to further show how Monica changes as her fear of ending her trilogy of books takes over - she goes from being powerful and confident, but alone and surrounded by people at the first party, to eventually hiding in her writing.

Adding in more detail meant that the audience's introduction to Monica was longer, but this was necessary as, "the way you drive your story forward is by focusing on the actions of the character and dramatic choices he or she makes during the narrative story line" (Field, 2005:46-7). Therefore, the audience needed to understand how much Monica's writing means to her to understand the actions she takes later on in the screenplay.
Beth also suggested re-thinking locations and props as, in earlier drafts, Monica broke into a science lab due to her writer's block for inspiration, as well as wrote in a park, coffee shop, and on a bench in the street. Therefore, when writing later drafts, I tried to make all of the action take place in Monica's dining room, making access more achievable in the time we had before filming. This is also why I changed events which would need a lot of props, such as making the elaborate dinner party a champagne party instead, since this wouldn't need as many props.

Draft 6

Refining Monica's conflict

However, feedback from Mike helped me see that Monica wanting her writing to be perfect wasn't her main conflict, since this is just an extension of her fear of being left alone when she finishes her trilogy of books, as she thinks this will cause her to lose the main character of her books, Vera, who is also her friend and confidant. Thus, during this draft I worked to refine and make clearer Monica's conflict, thinking about the theme of the screenplay, loneliness, to help with this.

Feedback from Mike:

Therefore, Monica's flaw is fear, which is internal. However, what she was afraid of had changed from being not wanting Vera to leave her in drafts 1 & 2, to this becoming less clear and overshadowed by Monica being afraid that her writing wasn't going to be perfect in drafts 3, 4 & 5. Hence, during this draft I worked to make Monica's fear of Vera leaving her and Monica ending up alone clearer, aiming to show this to the audience, instead of telling this to them, as I had been through dialogue in drafts 1 & 2.

Making Monica's fear about her losing her friend and confidant - rather than about her wanting to write a perfect ending so the book will be become a bestseller - is more relatable to the audience, as it has been argued that not everyone can relate to being a bestseller author, but everyone can relate to not wanting to be lonely (Snyder, 2005:159).

The conflict of Monica's writer's block was already shown in the screenplay through Monica beginning to write sentences, causing Vera to start actions, but then stop mid-action and rewind as Monica deleted the sentence due to being uncertain or unsatisfied by it. Thus, I also used this as a way to show Monica's fear of being left alone by Vera. Monica has writer's block because, although she knows how she wants to end the trilogy, she doesn't want to end it this way as it means Vera leaves. Therefore, I added in an action block where Monica goes to write this ending, so Vera gets up and goes to walk out, yet, Monica backspaces the sentence, rewinding Vera just before she leaves.

Nonetheless, because of her fear, Monica became passive, since she gives up. In earlier drafts, I had thus written that Vera then has to encourage her, making Vera the active character, and causing the stakes as to whether Monica continues writing or not to be low.

To change this, I added the time limit of a final manuscript deadline so that there are consequences if Monica does not take action. This makes the conflict clearer because it is identifiable to the audience, being external rather than internal. Therefore, instead of Vera encouraging Monica to go back to writing, Monica has to because the alarm on her phone reminds her of the impending deadline. This also makes Monica face her fear and causes Vera to disappear, as well as adds to the pressure of her initial writer's block when the alarm reminding Monica of the deadline goes off for the first time - further showing the conflict Monica faces by showing what is internal, externally.

Draft 7

Refining dialogue

To refine the dialogue, I considered how Vera, as Monica's book character, seems to embody Monica's thoughts and feelings. In the previous draft I aimed to show this through action by Vera pacing and eating popcorn as Monica becomes more stressed and panicked. I decided to have Vera eat popcorn since this is a food typically eaten by spectators, and Vera, because she is in Monica's head, often watches Monica work.

Therefore, I wanted to include this in the dialogue, so that the dialogue contributed to the story by continuing to show Monica and Vera's relationship to the audience. I thus tried to further Vera embodying what Monica is thinking and feeling by having her talk about things such as being exhausted, which Monica is from writing for so long - using this to further Monica's fear of Vera leaving by Vera suggesting that she might go away for a long holiday once Monica is finished - as well as having Vera point out the truth of the situation, that Monica is almost finished, and that this is the end of Vera's story, since Monica knows this, and is probably thinking about it, but doesn't want to face it. However, I felt that it was important for Vera to seem encouraging when speaking to Monica, since if the dialogue was too confrontational it wouldn't show the benefits of them working together and would make Monica's fear of Vera leaving make less sense. I also think that by Vera encouraging Monica, Vera could be considered as embodying Monica's hope that the writing will work, and that she can do it, since her love for writing is so strong that she probably doesn't want to give up, but after listening to what Vera has to say, feels like she has to, because there seems to be no alternative to Vera leaving.

Conclusion

It has been said that sometimes you have to write something one way to get it to where it needs to go in the end (Field, 2005:71). This is what I did during this drafting process, as the idea started completely differently, but I had to write it this way to get it to here. Without starting with my initial idea, there would have been no Vera, no writer's block of my own, and therefore no Monica. Hence, I found the idea that "sometimes during the writing process you'll find that what doesn't work often shows you what does" to be true (Field, 2005:71), and that, next time if I get stuck with a story it is best to "write out" the ideas which I know don't work for the screenplay, since these could lead to ideas which do work (Field, 2005:72). Overall, it is advised to "write the material the way it comes out" and see where it leads, since "writing is always an adventure; you never really know what's going to come out" (Field, 2005:72).

References

DeMers, J. (2017) 'Can Excessive Ambition Actually Ruin Your Chances of Success?' In: Entrepreneur 7/9/17. At: https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/299222 (Accessed on 26 March 2020).

Field, S. (2005) Screenplay: The Foundations of Screenwriting. New York: Random House, Inc.

Grant, R. (2013) Writing the Science Fiction Film. California: Michael Wiese Productions.

Snyder, B. (2005) Save the Cat! The Last Book on Screenwriting That You'll Ever Need. California: Michael Wiese Productions.